Thursday, December 6, 2012

June Snapple Returns :(


So good to talk to you again!!! I like to imagine when I'm typing this that we're having a fun chat together. One where I'm doing all the talking, of course!!!

Anywaysies, June Snapple got back into town last week so I'm sure the rate of STD spreading in town shot back through the roof. I never thought I would say this, but it was kind of a relief to have her back. Grace Telly was filling in for her while she was gone.

GRACE TELLY. The woman who once drank an entire bottle of Windex because she thought it was blue Gatorade.

As you can imagine, going to PTA presidency meetings with Grace Telly was a lot like visiting an animal shelter. DID I JUST SAY THAT?!?!? :-P

In Grace's defense, how do you even fill in for someone who gets around as much as June Snapple probably does? Especially when you're no looker, like Grace. I would go on and tell you about how the qualities I just described are nowhere near as shocking as June and Grace's terrible parenting skills, but you know me. I don't judge. I just help.

So since June Snapple made it back into town, I can spend a little more time with my babies, which they desperately need. My time away from them on PTA duties was completely temporary. Any mom who doesn't spend at least 12 hours of direct one-on-one contact with her children every day should be arrested in my opinion.

Fortify has started on a new project that she came up with ALL BY HERSELF to make a beautiful collage of pictures and statements about . . . ME. I am SO embarrassed that she would do this! And I tried to get her to make it about someone else but she just kept saying, "show me a better mother than you!"

Moms, I have to say that the most rewarding part about being a good mother is the incredible relationship I get to have with my babies. I feel so sorry for you if you have a bad relationship with your children because it means you haven't put forth the effort to be an incredible parent, like I have.  That's why I'm still working on that book about how to be a better mom! You will THANK me later.

I only wish I had enough time to come to each of your houses and teach you one-on-one.