In my last post, I announced my PTA president candidacy so be sure to read that if you haven't, because today I have some big news.
I don't want to overreact, but I'm pretty sure June Snapple is CHEATING in our race for PTA president!!!! I overheard her last week talking to a group of moms just after their spring luau planning meeting (which is SURE TO BE A TOTAL DISASTER, ESPECIALLY SINCE GRACE TELLY IS IN CHARGE OF IT THIS YEAR! Grace Telly hasn't succeeded in doing anything since she properly passed through the birth canal. And there are some who might even say that her doing so wasn't actually a success for the world! But you know me, I don't judge other moms who let their yards look like landfills and then blame it on their "cancer." I just help.). Anyway, while they were talking, I heard June Snapple say something about ballot stuffing. I can't be sure, but I'm rarely wrong about anything. So now I HAVE TO CHEAT IN ORDER TO EVEN THE PLAYING FIELD!!!! What is wrong with this world?!?!?! Why am I always the victim!??!?!?!
Fortify and Opaque have been licking envelopes all day to send out some fliers for the campaign. I hate to waste their precious talents on such menial tasks, but I've attended so many of their performances and things that I think it's safe to say they owe me BIG TIME by now. I'm doing my best to get Casper to stay out of our way. I tell you, that boy IS A HANDFUL!
I've just designed a new flier accusing June Snapple of embezzling PTA funds last year to take her family on a big trip. In all honesty, it's mostly not true. She DID go on a big trip. But I doubt she's intelligent enough to figure out how to embezzle money. But if she's going to cheat, I feel like I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE!!! Plus, it's ultimately for good because whatever I can do to keep June Snapple from another term is going to benefit the community 1,000 times over!
I don't know how I do it all!
I love you, dear mommies! Keep being you (if you're trying to be me!!! ;-P)!!!!
~I Will Be PTA President!