In my last post, I announced my PTA president candidacy so be sure to read that if you haven't, because today I have some big news.
I don't want to overreact, but I'm pretty sure June Snapple is CHEATING in our race for PTA president!!!! I overheard her last week talking to a group of moms just after their spring luau planning meeting (which is SURE TO BE A TOTAL DISASTER, ESPECIALLY SINCE GRACE TELLY IS IN CHARGE OF IT THIS YEAR! Grace Telly hasn't succeeded in doing anything since she properly passed through the birth canal. And there are some who might even say that her doing so wasn't actually a success for the world! But you know me, I don't judge other moms who let their yards look like landfills and then blame it on their "cancer." I just help.). Anyway, while they were talking, I heard June Snapple say something about ballot stuffing. I can't be sure, but I'm rarely wrong about anything. So now I HAVE TO CHEAT IN ORDER TO EVEN THE PLAYING FIELD!!!! What is wrong with this world?!?!?! Why am I always the victim!??!?!?!
Fortify and Opaque have been licking envelopes all day to send out some fliers for the campaign. I hate to waste their precious talents on such menial tasks, but I've attended so many of their performances and things that I think it's safe to say they owe me BIG TIME by now. I'm doing my best to get Casper to stay out of our way. I tell you, that boy IS A HANDFUL!
I've just designed a new flier accusing June Snapple of embezzling PTA funds last year to take her family on a big trip. In all honesty, it's mostly not true. She DID go on a big trip. But I doubt she's intelligent enough to figure out how to embezzle money. But if she's going to cheat, I feel like I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE!!! Plus, it's ultimately for good because whatever I can do to keep June Snapple from another term is going to benefit the community 1,000 times over!
I don't know how I do it all!
I love you, dear mommies! Keep being you (if you're trying to be me!!! ;-P)!!!!
~I Will Be PTA President!
You must do whatever it takes, I should know. It will all be worth it when you can finally say "I am the President"!
ReplyDeleteNot to mention the benefit to society!
DeleteNow, I know you would never make a mistake, so please don't take this the wrong way. But I think you may be misjudging (oh wait, you don't judge), I mean misusing your labor pool. Let Casper help with the envelopes. He's a boy and you know how boys are. Pretty soon he'd have so much glue all over himself and everything else, he'd slowly find himself sitting very still. Out of the way. Then you'd be free to do whatever you needed to. Let Casper's abilities work for you, not against you.
ReplyDeleteSUCH good advice! What I really need is a full-time nanny to watch Casper. The only problem is I don't trust anyone to parent as well as me. Such a burden. And a blessing.
DeleteGood luck stopping June Snapple! If you need any advice please let me know. As PTA president I successfully pushed out working mothers by planning meetings at 1pm on Tuesdays. I was hoping that by sending my children to a charter school that they would be able to keep working mothers and single fathers out, but they let anyone in!
ReplyDeleteWhen I win this thing, we'll need to start having PTA president meetings. I could use support from other moms who understand!
Delete"June Snapple is a bad apple." Let me know if you need a campaign manager, I won my own PTA seat with witty sayings like that and other winners like, "Katie Homes-Cruise is bad news."
ReplyDelete"Vote for me and winning."Ok, so maybe they weren't all so stunning...
Well I could use help spreading some rumors about June Snapple . . .
DeleteDone. You know, I hear she sprinkles her kids' PB&J with HGH...
DeleteAs winner of the cutest bottle doll competition I can fully understand your position. Winners are always victims. I recently entered another cute craft competition only to be "beaten" by an entry that was submitted by a twosome....which BTW... is probably a HUGE violation of crafting code of honor !!!!!! Far be it for me to judge though, I understand that not everyone has as much genius as the rest of us and feel the need for collaboration....
ReplyDeleteTake that cheating Snapple DOWN!
Yeah, that was a pretty shady move if you ask me. Rest assured, the dream catcher winners are each only half winners.
Deletefar be it for me......
DeleteThe only thing June Snapple could be president of would be a group for homewreckers.
ReplyDeleteYeah! I heard that June Snapple deals drugs too.
Delete