OMG moms!!!! I totes can't believe I haven't blogged in weeks!!! I mean, if you knew how busy I was, you would understand. But I still can't help but feel so much guilt since you all rely on hearing about my children and their accomplishments in order to feel happiness. PLUS WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT MY PARENTING ADVICE AND SO WAY GOOD EXAMPLE?!?!?!?!?
Anywaysies, I don't even remember who won the craft competition now. It was probs me! But I want to tell you all congratsies on participating. They tell the kids this that Fortify and Aloe compete against in their pageants and I'm always rolling my eyes but then I have to remind myself, "NO! It's so way good that these kids are competing! OTHERWISE, WHO WOULD YOUR GIRLS BEAT?!?"
So part of the reason I've been so way busy over the past month is because CAN YOU BELIEVE IT it's already time for PTA president elections.
WHAT!?
It's so way hard to be a leader in the town all the time and someone that everyone looks up to because I am ALWAYS in campaign mode. And the thing is, I don't even think I should have to run! I'm obviously the perfect choice for the PTA. I did such amazing things this year even though I had to have June Snapple as my co-president. Can you imagine if I didn't have that dead weight!?!? I'm SURE I would have been able to restructure the school boundaries to get the poor neighborhoods out of my babies' classrooms.
Anywaysies, so the so way good news this year is that June Snapple FINALLY is not running. (Can anyone say "quiting whore"?!?! HAHAHAHA LOL JK OF COURSE!!!).
Snapple said that she has so many responsibilities at home and her one kid is STILL getting all this attention for being incredibly "sick" with some blood disease (that I'm still not totally sure wasn't caused by neglectful parenting). Plus she's always complaining about how her husband is in another country fighting something or other. (ANYBODY ORDER AN ATTENTION HOG?!?!).
I'm sure the real reason is she has to go deal with her chlamydia, which I'm SURE she probably has. I'm not going to blog about my thoughts on that though because I don't want you to think I'm judging her. MOMS! We have to stick together! How many times have I told you this!!!! I really think you all need to try to follow my example more and not judge. Just help.
Well, as you can imagine, June Snapple stepping out of the way has opened up a truly terrifying possibility. And Grace Telly announced her candidacy last week, in a big way (everything Grace does BIG, if you know what I mean . . .). HUGE banner up in front of the school. And surprise surprise, Junes Snapple is supporting her in this. HA. I'm sure June Snapple made the banner because I'm not convinced that Grace Telly is even literate!
So now I have to go from being all experienced running against someone who basically probably slept her way to the top to competing against someone who basically probably eats her way to the top. LOL!!! CAN I EVEN SAY THAT ON BLOGGER!!!?!?! It's ok because you moms all know that I'm just joking.
So if any of you have any good campaign ideas, let me have them!
In the meantime, my girls are all doing remarkably well. Fortify continues to shine. Aloe follows in her footsteps. Cider and Opaque are turning into incredible artists. Casper is also here.
BYE!!!!
You should really be doing an instagram post on here. It's what all the really good moms do. InstaFriday or InstaWednesday or Insta-choose a day of the week to show us your crappy instagram pics.
ReplyDeleteI bet Grace just saw someone else do that banner on Pinterest. Real moms know how to create their own campaign paraphernalia. My suggestion. Run your campaign on healthy eating habits, "for the children."
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ReplyDeleteAlso, You could use the Clinton method and get Fleetwood Mac to rewrite a song as your official Campaign song: "Telly, LIIIIIES Telly totes magotes LIIIIEESSS....Telly Lies (TELLY TELLY LIES)".
You have to aim for her weaknesses! I'm already working on a so way cute campaign poster for you. I'll send it soon! Tell Fortify, Aloe, Cider, and Opaque to keep up the brilliant work!!! And it must be so hard with a child like Casper!! I'm here for you Mommy Eli!!
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