OMG WTF WHERE WAS I!?!?!? LOL!!!

OMGz moms. There is a SO WAY GOOD REASON you haven't heard from me in 2 years.

I got like so way super busy just being a mom and making so way cute crafts and then there was this whole thing with June Snapple basically whoring herself to the whole town because that's the only way she knows how to get her way and alls I was doing was trying to stand up for morals and stuff and the next thing I know they put me in prison for so way unfair reasons because I guess "destruction of property" isn't even legal anymore even when it's for a so way good causes like getting revenge on June Snapple for basically destroying the town by helping Grace Telly win the PTA election.

Anwaysies, prison was so ghetto lame and I couldn't even make friends there because it was basically just full of poor people and they were all so way totes jealous of me the whole time. Plus it was virtually impossible to make so way cute crafts from in there because nobody was classy enough to appreciate them anyway and there's literally no reason to do anything if people around you don't praise you for it.

Then I got out and found that Grace Telly had basically wrecked the town by turning the school into just another prison because she and June Snapple have promoted some new programs to help the poor children and I'm all like "OH I'M SORRY BUT I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA."

Fortunately Fortify has thrived through this adversity. She could probably skip like 5 grades but they decided to keep her in first grade again because she's so way smarter than any of the other kids and they want her to help out in the classroom.

Cider and Opaque are basically starting their own clothing line with the so way cutest trendy clothes and I'm like "OMG DID YOU GET THIS CREATIVITY AND TALENT FROM ME?!?"

Aloe has become really spiritual recently and has been expressing herself by not expressing herself. So she basically like so way never talks which is actually a sign of being a genius NOT TO BRAG OR ANYTHING.

Casper is fine.

Anywaysies, now that I'm back and so way excited to get back to what I love which is being such a super hot mom (OMG JK!!! SORRY NOT SORRY!! LOL!!) who makes so way cute crafts, things should settle way down.

Eventually I'll get back into the PTA and try to save everything. In the meantime Grace Telly will continue to neglect her children while single-handedly keeping all of the fried food joints in town in business LOL!!! YOU MOMS ARE SO NAUGHTY.

But moms. Srsly. Lay off Grace Telly a little. We don't judge.

We just help.