I know! I'm like totes the WORST mommy blogger EVER! I can't even imagine what kind of suspense I kep' you in!!! UGH!!!!
WELP, rest assured, I'm here and GREAT AS EVER!
I've been sooooooooooooo busy lately with my NEW JOB on the PTA, which has taken me to another world entirely! NOT to mention, it has been SO hot around here lately that I've hardly wanted to do anything other than hang around the new community pool! Unfortunately they'll let anyone in to the place so as you probs already guessed, it's overrun now by the poor neighborhoods.
Oh well. We'll get them out of the school first and worry about the pool later.
BUT, the PTA is THRIVING under my presidency! It was really hard at first because June Snapple was like calling me every day and all, "Hey, could you help me do this or that or blah blah blah blah blah, I have lipstick all over my teeth again, blah blah blah, also my kids all have lice as usual, blah blah blah." Fortunately I'm like super patient with horrid people and I would never say a mean thing about June Snapple no matter how trashy she looks at our PTA meetings so I just always tell her I'm going to take care of things and then I do what I want. Thankfully her kid's blood disease has been really bad lately so she's sort of just stayed out of my way so she can go deal with the consequences of her neglect.
We had our fundraiser and my babies TOTALLY SHINED during the entertainment portion! Fortify was, as always, completely moving! She did stutter over a line during her 10 minute recitation of a poem she wrote about me. But I took care of that after the show.
Mommies, DISCIPLINE IS HARD! I really think that, other than having to go to so many boring performances that our kids are involved in, it is the hardest part of the job! But I sat Fortify down and just told her that mistakes are unacceptable and that if she keeps going this way she's going to become another Casper. She's grounded this week, but I might cut her punishment short a little bit. What can I say?! I have a soft heart when it comes to my children! I think this is probably what makes me a good mom.
Anywaysies, the thing that was the most annoying at the fundraiser was that like after 5 minutes of the entertainment portion, people started leaving. By the end, the only people that were there besides me were June Snapple and her kids. I'm certain that people were just really jealous of all the talent they saw on stage. And I think a lot of parents in this town feel really inadequate when they see Fortify perform. BUT SERIOUSLY! If they knew me, they would know that I don't judge. I just help!
We didn't make much money in the fundraiser so I basically saved the day. One person in town, who shall remain nameless for the time being, had a VERY scandolous affair that I happen to know about despite it being a HUGE secret. This person also happens to have a lot of money. So, I made a quick phone call and now we have all the money we need until the next fundraiser! Grace Telly FREAKED out on me when she found out what had happened. It's like Grace Telly doesn't think people should be punished for their mistakes! But you know, I try not to be too hard on Grace. She's too stupid to understand things that normal people understand. So I just pat her shoulder lovingly and say, "oh Grace. You just keep being you." Which, honestly, is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I want.