Anywaysies, this month has been nothing but go go go at our house. Pageant season has started again for Fortify and this year Aloe is finally ready to get started too. I'VE GOT TWO OF MY BABIES IN PAGEANTS AT THE SAME TIME! I seriously don't know HOW I do it!!!
Sometimes I try to think if it's really fair that my kids take home so many awards all the time. There's not a lot of opportunity for other kids. Then I'm all like, WHATEVER!!!! My children shouldn't be punished for being skinnier and hotter and trendier than the other kids!
Worst news ever though. June Snapple was asked to be a citizen judge in next month's Molly March Pageant. Can you say irony?!?! June Snapple in a beauty pageant? What will they think of next? Grace Telly on Jeopardy?! The real tragedy about this, though, is that that means there will be another evening where June Snapple's adopted children won't get the attention they need. I would tell you also how much I disapprove of June's promiscuity in the town, which I know about because of a rumor I started, but you know me. I don't judge. I just help.
And this week I'm going to help all my mommies with hot bodies (YOU GUYS!!!) make so SO way cute Valentine crafts! I'm sending Fortify to school with a small chocolate sculpture of Fortify wearing a tiara for each kid in her class. I'm so embarrassed about the attention we get from her Valentine gifts but they are always the best in the class every single year. UGH! Enough attention on us already!!!
This craft is for the working mommies who don't have enough time to give their children the attention they deserve. I feel so totes bad for you mommies so I'm trying to help now. So here it is!
My decorative craft celebrates LOVE in a so way cute style. The key here moms is subtlety, which is a key June Snapple couldn't find hanging right off her huge nose. This craft underscores how LUCKY my valentine is to have ME, without just saying it directly. You want to remind your valentine that if it weren't for YOU they'd probably be with some whore from the poor part of town.
Alls you do is get some way cute craft paper, tape, and your favorite Luv snack. Grace Tellie's craft would probably be made out of potato chips and Crisco!!! ;/p
You know the drill! The new so way cute craft competition is under way!!! Make your own so way cute Valentine craft using items around the house and send it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org by the end of Friday. Next week I'll post the best so way cute crafts for a new vote and induction into the SO WAY CUTE craft hall of fame!!!!!!!!!!
SO winning this one!ReplyDelete
Is Fortify doing okay? I've noticed she hasn't posted on her blog lately! I just pray you haven't gone all Casey Anthony on her!ReplyDelete
Oh la la la....this is hawt!ReplyDelete
Fortify has a blog? I'm so very behind!ReplyDelete
Eli, I feel like you have way too much time on your hands. Maybe you should see a therapist instead. Haha.ReplyDelete
Shush, if he gets into therapy the blogs might stop!!!!!!!Delete