Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Mother's Day!!!!

Hi mommies!!!!

So sorry I didn't write last week!!!! As you can imagine, I've been BUSY BUSY BUSY. Sometimes I think, "how is a mom supposed to find the time to just focus on MOM!??!?!?" But then I think I just need to be thankful that I have kids who are excelling in so many ways. It really is a testament to the kind of mom I am. Your children are a bi-product of you. So the better mom you are, the more talented and impressive your children should be. Yes, there are a few exceptions. For example, Casper is often a disappointment (DID I JUST SAY THAT?!?!?!) but MOST of the time, when a child misbehaves, it's because that child's mommy is failing as a parent. Take June Snapple's kids for example. I was GASPING IN SHOCK at a recent school spelling bee when Snapple's oldest (Fortify's age) couldn't spell "congratulations." Of course, June probably made excuses for him--"English isn't his native language . . . he struggles with learning since he was traumatized in his war-torn birth country . . . he just got out of the hospital again . . ." Whatever. If that's what she needs to do to not feel like she's a DISASTER of a parent, more power to her! I would gossip and complain about her to you all if I didn't have my rule about not judging other moms. You know me.

But what I'm really writing about today---HELLO! MOTHER'S DAY WAS JUST HERE!!! I can't even BELIEVE how much my babies did for Mother's Day this year. The whole time I was all like, "STOP IT WITH THE LOVE AND ATTENTION ALREADY!!!" I HATE it when the focus is on me. But the kids INSISTED on honoring me (and let's be honest--I DESERVE IT! ;-P).

They each wrote poems about me as a mother and about how big of a support I am in their lives (and NO, I did NOT help them with it!).

I want to share Aloe's poem with you:


Mother, always working for good,
Never judging, although she could,
Giving all to her children five,
So they can keep the world alive
With joy and talent and music and art,
To teach all others to do their part,
Never a better parent in the neighborhood,
Mother, always working for the good.

MOMMIES!!!! I'm like TOTES CRYING RIGHT NOW!!!! So embarrassed that you saw that poem but I just couldn't help but share it with you.

Then Fortify painted this for me:

And I'm all like, "FORTIFY!!! Is THAT supposed to be me!!!!" Of course, I was only joking. I don't like to brag, but I'm probably in the best shape of any mommy in the PTA, which is really an achievement CONSIDERING HOW BUSY I AM!!! Anyway, Fortify told me that it's supposed to represent my grace and poise. I am SO proud of her.

Guys, I don't think I can handle another Mother's Day--which is TOO BAD FOR ME because we are celebrating it again this coming Sunday. A few years ago the kids had the idea to do an extra Mother's Day 2 weeks later so I could have a day that I don't have to share with other moms. I'm so spoiled!!!! Anyway, I wish they wouldn't do it, but every year they PRACTICALLY INSIST!!!

Ok, I'm off to print off some campaign signs. I hate to have to resort to attack campaigning, but the rest of the PTA seems to be too stupid to figure out on their own how terrible June Snapple and her awful lisp are for this town!


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Checking In!!!

Heeeeey mommies! ;)

I'm so sorry I've been totes MIA for the last couple of weeks. SO much going on in my life right now you WOULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT! All good things, of course. I get tons of blessings all the time because of how much I do. BUT I HAVE TO SAY, sometimes I wish the blessings would just SLOW DOWN!!! ;-P

The presidential election is taking most of my time these days. On the one hand, there's a candidate who cares about the people. Who has the experience to actually make a difference. Who knows how to run things. And on the other hand: a babbling idiot who cares more about her charities and people than campaigning to keep the poor neighborhoods out of our school boundaries. Yes mam, this is going to be one wild PTA presidential campaign season. And June Snapple IS GOING DOWN, along with her horrid prosthetic leg, that she probably is too stupid to figure out how to put on by herself every day while she ignores her adopted children. But you know me, I don't judge other moms. I just help.

Fortunately Fortify had some big news yesterday. Her pre-school voted her most likely to succeed. We, OF COURSE, were not surprised. If you saw ANY of those kids in that class, you would be embarrassed that they even had to vote on it. What's really sad is that none of the other kids in that classroom are even cute or trendy. Add that to their lack of ambition and leadership skills . . . well, let's just say their mommies can kiss even a mediocre future good bye. But I don't blame the children. I would blame their mommies, if I judged.

Anywaysies, I'll have a new so way cute craft ready for you soon! You won't believe it! Until then, keep being you, mommies, and let's make sure June Snapple is a ONE TERMER!!!!!

~I'm Unfit to Be a Mother