Monday, June 3, 2013


Hey mommy bloggers! I can't even believe how totes busy I've been campaigning for PTA president! UGH! I feel like all I ever do in life is campaign and give my children all the attention that they need that most other parents don't give to their own children! I literally can't go anywhere without running into my constituents!


But you all know how so way important it is that I sacrifice and bring my talents to the school. June Snapple destroyed this town for so many years. All the time she wasted creating programs for the slower children while my gifted kids were TOTALLY neglected.

It's a good thing Fortify is such a self-starter or who knows how June Snapple could have destroyed her potential!

Now I feel like I'm engaged in a battle of good verses stupid in trying to keep Grace Telly from becoming the next PTA president. I seriously don't even think Grace Telly could SPELL "PTA!" I mean, she could EAT the PTA, but not spell it! HAHAHAHA!!! OMG MOMS!!! YOU GIRLS ARE SO TERRIBLE! THAT IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!

True, but not funny.

Moms, we have to do a better job at sticking together. Even if it means defending illiterate hogs like Grace Telly or self-righteous whores like June Snapple! WE DON'T JUDGE. WE JUST HELP! There are badly behaved neglected but otherwise unimpressive and innocent children to consider here! And we need to try to help those children because imagine if they have a bad influence on gifted kids like Fortify and Aloe and Opaque and Cider!?


Anywaysies. The whole reason I'm blogging today is to tell you that Fortify was voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in the end of the school year awards. AGAIN! (IMHO she should have been voted the "Only Likely to Succeed" but I think it's good to give the other children hope. Even the ones who got lice this year).

I SO didn't want to tell you about this because I hate how much attention we get all the time and we don't do all that we do for the awards. The awards just happen because of who we are. AND I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT YOU TO ATTRIBUTE THIS SUCCESS TO MY GOOD PARENTING! Let's please just let this be about Fortify and not about me. Ok, maybe it can be a little about me!!!! HAHAHA! ROFL!! JK OF COURSE!