Friday, January 27, 2012


I know some moms out there have probably already beat me to it, but I am ready to get family van stick figure stickers for our car! (Cut me some slack on being behind on this! You all know what a crazy year 2011 was for my family, what with all of Fortify's achievements! We hardly had time to run ANY 5ks or write songs as a family this year!). My only problem is that I can't seem to find a site that makes a chicken stick figure and I just CAN'T IMAGINE doing this without including the Queen of Colors. So far the best site I have found is this one. CAN ANY MOMS OUT THERE HELP ME WITH THIS ONE????!?!?!!?!??!?!? WHAT SITE DID YOU USE FOR YOUR UNCOMMON PETS?!?!?!?!!!!???????!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?

The reason I want to do this is so my children feel valued. I firmly believe that putting stick figures of them with their names on the back of a vehicle that can be seen by all of the strangers of the world will not only boost their exposure, but their self-esteem also. I want people we don't know to know how many kids I have and what each of their names are. I don't feel like I would be doing my duty as a mommy if I didn't make this happen. I also know that most people LOVE seeing these so I want to join the trend to help make people on the road smile and admire our family!!! I think it's good for single people and other people who can't have children to constantly be faced with the reminder that being a parent is the ONLY fulfilling way to live life! It's also good for these people on the road to know that I have children to care for and therefore my priorities are more important and my time more valuable than theirs. I continue to hope that the more we make our presence known, the more the non-parents of the world will understand the need to accommodate us at every possible opportunity, to great sacrifice to them (because WHAT do people without kids know about sacrifice!!!!!?!?!??!?!?!???!?!????!?!?!?!?).

~I Just Follow Nonsensical Trends

Monday, January 23, 2012

BIG Announcement!!!!!

Hi friends! I've missed all of my blogging besties over the last week. I wish I could blog EVERY day but you all know how crazy things are around my house! Not a minute to think with all of the activities my babies are involved in this time of year! I can hardly believe Fortify is only a few months away from completing pre-school! I'm considering having her test out of the first several grades but I'm worried that the children in her peer groups desperately need her to stay involved in their classrooms. Many of these children do not come from good homes--they come from homes with parents who don't seem to care about them. Last week I saw one boy in Fortify's class show up to school with a TWINKIE in his lunch box!!! Can you believe that?!?!?! I almost called social services! But I know that not every mom out there has the ability to care for and love her child the same way I do. I'm sure this neglected boy has a mom with a lot of other things on her mind that she has decided to make more of a priority. Some moms just really struggle being moms and I can't fault them for that. MY HEAVENS!!! IF WE MOMS DON'T STICK TOGETHER, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO US!!!!???

But all of this has me thinking, and I am now ready to make a BIG HUGE GIGANTIC announcement. Are you sitting down?  . . . . . . . . . . I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE A BOOK!!!!!!

I know what you're thinking: But Eli, you don't have time to write a book! You have FIVE kids under the age of FIVE!!! And I know that so many of you have seen us around at various award ceremonies and recitals (I'm so embarrassed that you've seen us engaged in all of these things! SO BLUSHING RIGHT NOW!). But even though my time is so valuable and in such high demand, I know that you all would benefit from a book from me about parenting. I plan to call it, "Stop being a Mom and start being a Mommy!" I believe it will be very easy to write as I don't really have to do any research, but just write about my life and experiences. The only thing I worry about is how to handle the delicate nature of dealing with a delinquent child, as I'm now experiencing with Casper. Unless I find a way soon to figure out how to get Casper to move on from children's fictional novels and branch out to reading biographies, I don't know that I'll be a credible enough source on that topic in time to have the book published by Christmas this year.

Anyway, I would SO appreciate any questions you might have that you would like me to address in the book. You've seen me be a mommy and you can probably think of things in me that you've always wanted for yourselves, so please don't be shy to point those out!

~It Just Gets More Annoying

Saturday, January 14, 2012

5 Tips!!!

Yesterday Fortify told me I was the wind beneath her wings. WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??!!?!?!???!!!!??!! It's been so amazing to watch Fortify excel so much compared to the other children in the neighborhood. I truly don't believe that her talent and grace is a result of MY parenting (OK, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE!!! ;-)).  I have been such a lucky mommy to be blessed with four brilliant children, and one more who has so much potential. In order to give back, I thought I would share five parenting tips that I think have really worked with my children:

1. Enter your toddlers in as many competitions as possible! I place all of my girls in infant dance classes as soon as they are old enough to cut their own meat (in our house, that's at about 5 months). The important thing is to make sure your children know that it's completely unacceptable to not perform better than the other children. Tell them you are disappointed in them when they don't outshine the others (fortunately we don't have that problem around our house TOO often!!!).

2. 5:00 AM instrument practice. ALL of my children have been able to play at least two musical instruments since before they could talk thanks to 5:00 AM practices, every single day. And my children LOVE getting up that early to spend time with me!

3. Never allow your children to eat sugar.

4. Encourage your children to correct others when they see something out of place. I'm so proud of Fortify for regularly letting her teacher know when her teacher is not handling the subject matter in the classroom with the poise and mastery that we should demand of our children's educators!

5. Remind your children daily of their exceptionalism over others (but only if it's true).

I hope some of these bits of advice have helped some moms out there!!! I know it's not always easy being a mommy. Sometimes Casper only achieves some of the weekly goals I set for him. Sometimes Casper forgets to pick up his shoes after he gets home from yoga. It's on those days I ask myself, "HOW ON EARTH AM I EXPECTED TO KEEP DOING THIS????? WHY DOES BEING A MOMMY HAVE TO BE SO SO HARD!!!!" But then Fortify will tell me I'm the wind beneath her wings. And I think, "Oh yeah. That's why I do it. That's why I do it."

~I Just Get More Helpful

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Welcome to 2012!

I can't believe how much my children have accomplished in the FIRST WEEK of the new year! All of my mommy friends out there know I don't like to brag about my kids, but I just HAVE to let you know what they've been up to.

Fortify is excelling at learning FIVE new languages. We all knew she wouldn't have a problem with it, I just can't believe how quickly it's coming to her. The other day she was on the phone with someone in CHINA telling them how to make an upside-down cake. (Can't wait for THAT phone bill!!! :) !! ;-)).

Aloe has been busy with his usual. We've had THREE recitals this week! 2012 is going to be a LONG year for THIS family! I would pull Aloe from a few of his musical groups if it wouldn't totally crush the groups to do so.

I've been a little concerned about Casper this week. While he did manage to make and sell his first Creme Brulee, he didn't apply himself in his studies this week the way I expect him to. On Thursday, for example, when I asked him to tell me the theme of each presidency in US history, when he got to Garfield he said, "civil service reform and radical republicanism." WTH!!?!?!?!?!!?!???! I don't know how he's going to manage preschool next year if he can't even get his history straight now. CAN ANY OF MY MOMS OUT THERE HELP ME WITH THIS ONE?????!?!???!?!?!?!?!???!! :(

Cider is learning to crochet, and BOY IS SHE GOOD AT IT! I'm not at all surprised. She inherited her mother's delicate hands but her father's fierce precision. Not to brag.

Opaque is still our little baby. We don't expect much from her around here! But being part of this family, as you can imagine, she still delivers! (Literally, actually. She brings our paper in in the mornings and then gives us the highlights when we're too busy running off to awards ceremonies to read through it ourselves).

Yes, I think 2012 is going to be a great year around our house! I'm so humbled by how impressive my five children are. So so humbled. Please join us in our exciting journey through 2012!

~It Just Gets More Incredible