Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Pull Out the Tiaras!!!!

Ok, so I know you've all been wondering where on Earth I've been in the last week!!! Well wonder no more!!! I'm still here, just trying to figure out how to balance it all, just like all of you.

The main reason things have been so busy in the last week is that pageant season is in full swing again! YIKES!!! Fortify has been trying to narrow down which talent she'll use this year. I'm positive that the reason she didn't sweep the pageants in 2011 is because she was performing on such a higher level than the other children so the judges just didn't know how to score her. I believe she was disqualified for this reason.

The only thing I'm really upset about this go around is that I received a letter in the mail the other day from the pageant committee warning me that Fortify could be disqualified again. In full, the letter states:

Dear Eli,

It has come to our attention that despite our conversations with you in late 2011, Fortify plans to enter this year's contests. We are concerned about the delicate feelings of all of the children that participate in our competitions and constantly strive to encourage a positive environment in which they can shine and grow. We know you will help us this year by refraining from engaging in the aggressive tactics we warned you about last season. We remain very serious about the consequences of criticizing other children's performances, insisting on waiting in the child-only staging area, and bullying judges. We will consider our encounters with you in June, October, and November of last year as your final warnings and will not hesitate to disqualify Fortify in the event that we feel your behavior is counterproductive to the positive atmosphere we fervently try to foster.


Patty Pageant Committee 

WTH?!?!?!???!?!?!?!!!!???!?!?!?!!!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THIS ONE!?!???!!!!!??!!! I'M SORRY IF I WANT TO BE INVOLVED! I'M SORRY THAT I CARE ABOUT MY CHILD AND DON'T TRUST HER TO BE LEFT TO THE INSTRUCTION OF COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT STRANGERS WHO HAVE PROBABLY NEVER RAISED A GIFTED CHILD BEFORE!!! I'm sorry that other moms out there are raising their own children LIKE WILD ANIMALS who have no structure and are incapable of internalizing constructive criticism!

This whole thing makes me so sick! But we are NOT going to let this ruin our pageant season. Fortify is going to win and she is going to win BIG this year!

~I Just Get More Competitive Over Things That Don't Matter


  1. For the record? You did a lovely impression of one of the moms on Toddlers and Tiaras. Kudos. :)

  2. Obviously, if the other parents (and judges) cared for their children the way you care for yours, they would allow you to stay so that the children can see the way it SHOULD be done and what real talent looks like. They apparently only want mediocrity for their children, unlike you.

    Never back down Eli! You want what's best for your children. Exposing them to other failure-type kids will only inspire them to keep reaching for the stars. Also gives them a good base for who they will be responsible for hiring for menial labor in the future.

    1. Exactly Kjax! I feel like you get me. How am I supposed to be an effective mommy if I can't let my kids learn from the failures of other moms?

      Keep trucking along Kjax! We good mommys need to stick together!

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Fortify is very fortunate to have such a loving and supportive mother, really. There are other, bigger, and BETTER pageants out there, where they will appreciate and encourage your level of involvement in your daughter's future.

    Maybe you should start considering enhancing Fortify's appearance? You know, fortify the girl for further success and whatnot. She's over the age of 5, right? You can always lie, too, I know a guy who will do it as long as the kid can crawl.

    1. Sarah, could you send me his contact info (for a friend)?

    2. Certainly, he's Dr. Spaceman. World renowned, and highly qualified.