Monday, April 9, 2012

June "Toilet" Snapple and COMPETITION!

OMG Sisters!!!! This mom is getting pretty darn tired!!! Fortify's pageants and Opaque's music performances HAVE TAKEN OFF THIS WEEK!!!! And what timing! Right as I've launched my campaign for PTA president!!! You should have seen the look on June Snapple's face this morning when she opened her front door and saw a dummy look-a-like with its detached head in a toilet and a big sign that said "June Snapple looks better this way! Run June Snapple out of the PTA and OUT OF TOWN!!!"

It wasn't one hour before she was calling the school board to whine about having a little competition. June Snapple is the WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO THIS TOWN! She's practically a terrorist! I get so tired of hearing everyone talk about all of her volunteer work at the homeless shelter and the foundation she organized for children with Leukemia. YOU KNOW WHAT SNAPPLE?! I WOULD HAVE DONE TWICE THAT IF I WASN'T BUSY WATCHING MY CHILDREN IN COMPETITIONS COMPLETELY EMBARRASS THOSE BRATS YOU ADOPTED  AFTER THAT FIRE TOOK OUT THAT VILLAGE IN WHATEVER COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM!

Anyway, now June is firing back, lest you started to feel sorry for her. I saw her poster up at the school today and it had some hideous picture of her and her kids and it said something like, "June Snapple asks for your vote so she can finish the job." FINISH THE JOB?!?!?!?!?!? SO NOW SHE'S THREATENING ME?!?!?!?! Fine by me! Now I have evidence that June Snapple is probably part of the mob! Then the poster went on to say something about involving all parents and children in the school community. Blah. Blah. Blah. Obviously an attack on Fortify for being so talented that there isn't room for other kids.

Seriously, I think this might be the most important election of our lifetime. I hate to think what June Snapple and her second-hand-clothes might do to this town with another year in power.

But you know me. I don't judge. I just help.

To take my mind off of the completely unfair and aggressive tactics in this campaign, I spent some time making another SO WAY CUTE CRAFT!!!! OMG this craft is SO WAY CUTE! Today's craft is . . . . . . . . . . drum roll  . . . . . .

A BIRD FEEDER!!!!!!!!!

Alls I did was I got two plates, shoved a pencil through the center, tied some of Casper's headphones to the top, put some sunglasses on it to represent spring and summer, and then put tons of super yummy chocolate covered bird food in. AND THAT'S SERIOUSLY IT!!!! I can't believe how easy it is! I have made 46 of them and put them all over my yard and they are SO WAY CUTE!!!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you know the drill! Make your bird feeders mommies! You have until the end of Thursday to send them in to me at And they BETTER be so way cute if you want to win the competition!

~Bird Feeders are Cute


  1. Wow! Your yard must look UHMAAAAAZING with all of those fabulously adorbs bird feeders!!! I don't even know how to top that, but I will definitely be working on some this week with Roger and Roger!

  2. It doesn't surprise me AT ALL that June Snapple was whining about that toilet. What a wuss.

  3. Totes just sent in my entry!!!! The kids tried to help but I finally shook 'em!

  4. You are going to love my craft Eli!

  5. No way! My SOSUPERADORABLEST idea that everyone needs to see so they can be better mommies and best friends and that I just thought of cuz I only read this entry a few seconds ago is taking me LOTS of time to put together. So if you'll keep this competition open today too, I'll make sure June Snapple's trash cans somehow end up back on her porch right before the garbage truck comes.

    1. No worries! I'm actually running behind myself. But send it today or it won't make it in!

  6. You should sell these on Ebay. You could make some money!