Campaign Posters!!!

Moms, it's a great day to be alive!!!!!! WHY??!! Because Junes Snapple IS AT THE END OF HER ROPE!!! Yes mams! With just over one week to go before the election takes place, the whole town can just feel the horror of June Snapple's PTA presidency finally slipping away.

Make room for the mother load!!! Because here I come!

I feel at this point like it's sort of a waste of time to keep campaigning. There is NO WAY anyone is going to vote for that used-to-be-a-raging-alcoholic (you didn't hear it from me!!!). This week Snapple has Grace Telly wandering the neighborhoods dropping fliers on the front porches. GRACE TELLY!!! I'm surprised Grace Telly is intelligent enough to walk--I can't believe Snapple is desperate enough to give her an assignment.

Meanwhile, both Snapple and Telly are neglecting their children, AGAIN!!! It is absolutely NO WONDER that their kids hardly speak English. I would say that their moms are totally incompetent, but you know me. I don't judge other moms who let their children sleep until 7:00 AM!!!!!! I just help.

And today, I'M LOOKING FOR YOUR HELP!!!

I thought that since we're at the end of such a fun campaign season, why not turn it into a SO WAY CUTE craft competition!?!?!?!

So this week's craft is a little different. It's not something that you'll probably hang in your house for too long, but it's so way important!!! This is JUST like during World War II when everything needed to go toward the war effort. This week's craft:

Anti-June Snapple Campaign Posters!!!

This one was made by Casper. SO glad he's attempting to help his mom. No this isn't as good as anything Fortify could make, but I don't like to compare my children with each other.

Alls I need you mommies to do is design a good anti-June poster on a piece of paper and email me a picture of it to itjustgetsstranger@gmail.com. You all have until Thursday at midnight to send in your entry! We'll have another vote to choose the best one and then I'll let Fortify and Aloe turn it into an actual poster to hang up in town two days before the PTA election. AND OF COURSE THE WINNER WILL GET A COVETED SPOT ON THE SO WAY CUTE CRAFT WINNERS TAB!!!!

I know that this is so way fun, but let's not forget how important this all is. I never thought I would get into politics--you all know I certainly DON'T HAVE TIME FOR IT with everything my girls are involved in! But I have just seen society decay so much. I HATE power, and I absolutely don't want it. But I know that if I don't take the presidency, things are only going to get worse.

BIRD FEEDER VOTE OPEN!!!!!

Hey mommies! I hope everyone is having SUCH a good week!!!! Things are looking up for me since June Snapple got food poisoning on Thursday! She's still campaigning (and probably neglecting her children in the process, but you know me, I don't judge other moms), but she's sick and therefore getting WHAT SHE DESERVES!!! ;-)

Anyways, below are the 5 best bird feeders you made! Make sure to vote for your favorite one on the top right! I'll leave voting open until the end of Wednesday! Let's beat our voting record of 207 for the dream catchers!!!

Kel's Bird Hair: So I'm always telling my teenage daughters two things: 1) Uh-Uh honey, you are NOT going out of the house with your hair looking like a bird's nest! and, 2) You should get outside more and enjoy nature. You so totally inspired me with your bird feeder cuz I thought, why not combine them!!?!? This is one of my daughters trying it out, and she LOVES it. All you do is make sure your hair can hold lots of stuff that attracts birds. In this case, we used leaves and a shiny tiara. But of course you could add whatever you have around, like grass or bugs or teeny-tiny books about migration. Then just fill the center with the foods your local birds love and hold really, really still! We have a lot of hummingbirds, so of course we use mostly popcorn and pistachio nuts, but again, the options are limitless. Next week we're going to add live mice to try to attract hawks.

Daniel's Holy Dove Bird Feeder: We are a religious household and we do what we can to attract only the most spiritual birds around here. All other birds are of the devil.

Melissa's Cat Bird Feeder:  We girls know how important it is to get "beach ready"....this fancy bird feeder sends the message "look, eating is ok....but let's not overdo it being unhealthy is for the birds"!! (#amIright??)

Sara's Toilet Roll: I totally have about 10 toilet paper roll bird feeders hanging on the trees in my front yard that we made last week.  The birds love them so much that we can't even keep up with enough tp and paper towel usage to supply the neighborhood flocks.

Ray's Teaser Bird Feeder: As a mom, I despise all birds. That is why I place the food in a way that no bird can possibly get to it. When I'm not to busy posting about the other moms in the neighborhood I'm mad about on Facebook, I sit at the window and watch the birds run into this.

June "Toilet" Snapple and COMPETITION!

OMG Sisters!!!! This mom is getting pretty darn tired!!! Fortify's pageants and Opaque's music performances HAVE TAKEN OFF THIS WEEK!!!! And what timing! Right as I've launched my campaign for PTA president!!! You should have seen the look on June Snapple's face this morning when she opened her front door and saw a dummy look-a-like with its detached head in a toilet and a big sign that said "June Snapple looks better this way! Run June Snapple out of the PTA and OUT OF TOWN!!!"

It wasn't one hour before she was calling the school board to whine about having a little competition. June Snapple is the WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO THIS TOWN! She's practically a terrorist! I get so tired of hearing everyone talk about all of her volunteer work at the homeless shelter and the foundation she organized for children with Leukemia. YOU KNOW WHAT SNAPPLE?! I WOULD HAVE DONE TWICE THAT IF I WASN'T BUSY WATCHING MY CHILDREN IN COMPETITIONS COMPLETELY EMBARRASS THOSE BRATS YOU ADOPTED  AFTER THAT FIRE TOOK OUT THAT VILLAGE IN WHATEVER COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM!

Anyway, now June is firing back, lest you started to feel sorry for her. I saw her poster up at the school today and it had some hideous picture of her and her kids and it said something like, "June Snapple asks for your vote so she can finish the job." FINISH THE JOB?!?!?!?!?!? SO NOW SHE'S THREATENING ME?!?!?!?! Fine by me! Now I have evidence that June Snapple is probably part of the mob! Then the poster went on to say something about involving all parents and children in the school community. Blah. Blah. Blah. Obviously an attack on Fortify for being so talented that there isn't room for other kids.

Seriously, I think this might be the most important election of our lifetime. I hate to think what June Snapple and her second-hand-clothes might do to this town with another year in power.

But you know me. I don't judge. I just help.

To take my mind off of the completely unfair and aggressive tactics in this campaign, I spent some time making another SO WAY CUTE CRAFT!!!! OMG this craft is SO WAY CUTE! Today's craft is . . . . . . . . . . drum roll  . . . . . .


A BIRD FEEDER!!!!!!!!!

Alls I did was I got two plates, shoved a pencil through the center, tied some of Casper's headphones to the top, put some sunglasses on it to represent spring and summer, and then put tons of super yummy chocolate covered bird food in. AND THAT'S SERIOUSLY IT!!!! I can't believe how easy it is! I have made 46 of them and put them all over my yard and they are SO WAY CUTE!!!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you know the drill! Make your bird feeders mommies! You have until the end of Thursday to send them in to me at itjustgetsstranger@gmail.com. And they BETTER be so way cute if you want to win the competition!

~Bird Feeders are Cute

Dream Catcher Competition!!!!

Hey mommies!!!! So many of you sent in AMAZING dream catchers this week!!! Unfortunately, I had to limit the competition a little because we had too many entries. This is getting SO competitive!!! I hope some of you are as good under pressure as MY FORTIFY!!! Anyway, I chose 7 entries this time that really spoke to me. Some of these included captions, which I included below the picture. Look at them carefully and DON'T FORGET TO VOTE ON THE TOP RIGHT OF THE BLOG!!! I'm going to leave voting open until MONDAY AT 11:59 PM!!!!!!

Sara's Domesticated Dreams: "It includes some fun beads from my daughter Roger's latest birthday party, her pageant lipstick (it's an ADORABLE shade of sparkly pink!), a can opener (even though I only serve my children FRESH fruits and vegetables, we do like to keep cans on hand for feeding the hungry in our neighborhood, because it just BREAKS MY HEART to see people who just are not as BLESSED and FORTUNATE as I AM!), and of course Roger's ABSOLUTE FAVORITE HAIR BOW. Her brother Roger was so happy to see such a wonderful representation of the fabulous women in our family. I am just so proud of my AMAZING CHILDREN. They really look up to your Fortify, after all. We ALL hope that some day they can meet such an inspirational young lady!!!"

Melissa's Banana Dreams: "This dream catcher is made of 100% recycled bananas, Christmas string, and tacks. The tacks were used to hold up my kids works of art but they got bumped."

Kodi's Phone Dreams: Came without a description, but was apparently part of a  show-down at work this week (I feel SO bad for Kodi's children that they have a mommy who cares more about her career than them!!!! But you know me, I don't judge other moms. I just help).

Shauna & Karin's Celebration of Spring: More working moms. Poor things. (I mean their kids).

Antoinette's The First Eye Dream Catcher: "Mine is two sided.  The first side is a shiny surface designed to blind "The First Eye" and the second side is designed to fool "The First Eye" into thinking the area is occupied since they are loners."

Andrea's Beauty in the Great Outdoors: This "is what you get when we Amazing Mothers Do Our Best. We know that a good mother mixes the outdoors with the indoors. I used a simple hanger to create the frame, and grocery bags, tin foil, and plastic wrap to complete the basics. I then gathered herbs from my yard. Also, no fabulistic mother-woman is complete without several hair flowers and bling jewelry to go with her fantastic hair bumpit and dream catcher."

Daniel's Online Dangers: "As mommies, we've got to be on the look out for online dangers!  That's why I designed this super cutesy computer dream catcher!!!!   This catcher is intended to protect us from the "undesirables" of life (my husband wouldn't let me use his picture!?!?!)  The cottage cheese was put in to represent not wanting cottage cheese legs, but I used cottage cheese because I'm a good mommy, and don't want any enticing images on my computer.

The kid, well, because no mommy would ever be proud of a kid with that hair color

And the chicken to serve as a warning to the Queen of Colors."